Sex Education And Children

“Daddy, why is the sky blue?” “Mummy, where does the sun go at night?” And then suddenly, like a bolt from the blue – “Mummy, where do babies come from?” This question usually leaves parents squirming with embarrassment and trying to pass the buck to the other parent. Teaching children the facts of life, telling them about the birds and the bees, is something that most parents are not very comfortable with. Actually, this is a very narrow view of sex education. It is not just about having an embarrassing, private talk with your child or giving them a book or their being given a lecture in school complete with diagrams. Sex does not begin and end with intercourse. Intercourse could be said to be the most intimate way in which men and women relate to each other. However, it is merely one aspect of the relationship between men and women. In fact, children are learning about sexuality from the time they can spot the difference between boys and girls. They also get cues from the different ways in which parents relate to sons and daughters and the way in which parents interact with each other. Thus, children whose parents have a bad marriage will find it very difficult to contemplate that sexual intercourse is built on love and mutual respect.

“Where do babies come from?”

Parents can expect the ‘dreaded’ question about the origins of babies around the age of three. The question stems from natural curiosity. Parents should keep in mind that a three-year-old’s level of understanding is quite simplistic. The child is too young to understand the concept of sexuality. The child will probably be satisfied if the mother says that the baby grows in a special place in her body called the uterus or womb and comes out after nine months. The next question is probably going to be – “How did the baby get in?” The only way a child is aware of about how things get in is through eating. Thus, a simple answer explaining that the baby grows from a tiny seed implanted in the uterus should suffice. If children want to know the father’s role in the process, mothers can explain that the father put the seed inside the mother. As for how the babies get out, children can be told that once the baby has grown enough inside the mother it comes out from a special opening called the vagina. It may be a good idea to specify that this opening is different from those for urination and defecation.

Sex education is something that happens in stages. A three-year-old child might be satisfied when he is simply told that the father provides the seed that grows into a baby. However, by the time he is five, he might want to know how exactly it got there. Here again, parents should remember to keep it simple. After all, he is only five. Explain to him that the seed comes out of the father’s penis and is deposited in the uterus where the baby will grow for the next nine months.

Some children don’t bring up the topic at all. Parents of such children assume that their children are particularly innocent. But in all likelihood, parents of these children have made them feel, probably unintentionally, that the question of how babies are made is somehow taboo and not open to discussion. Such parents should keep their ears open for indirect questions, hints and jokes that indicate that the child is curious but afraid to ask a direct question. For instance, a little boy may constantly poke fun at his pregnant mother saying that she is fat or a little girl may ask her mother how their dog had puppies. Parents should realize that their children are diffident about asking them questions directly and seize these opportunities to explain a little bit about human reproduction.

Some parents prefer fiction to fact when discussing sex with their children. A common euphemism used by parents is that a stork or an angel brought the baby. Such stories tend to backfire because the child can see the evidence of the baby growing in his mother’s stomach every day. The child immediately senses that his parents are being evasive about the issue and he is bound to find out the truth sooner or later. Parents are in danger of losing his trust because he is not sure when they might chose to lie or tell him half-truths again. In addition, the question of how babies are made acquires considerable significance highlighted by the parent’s nervous and sheepish approach. He gets the message that the topic is something to be embarrassed about. Another outcome of this approach is that the child may hesitate to discuss things that bother him with his parents in the future because he is not sure of the response he will get.

Adolescents and sex

Parents who have passed the “where do babies come from?” stage usually heave a sigh of relief, thinking that’s the end of that. But the topic of sex is bound to rear its head once again when their children hit puberty. This is the stage in life when girl’s breasts begin to develop, their hips widen and they begin to menstruate. Boys see an increase in body hair, their voices crack, their penises and testicles grow and they begin to have nocturnal emissions or “wet dreams.” Suddenly sons and daughters become impossible to cope with. They are constantly touchy and irritable, they seem to glory in being contrary and love playing the rebel. This is the stage when most parents wish their children were babies again.

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Sex Education For Couples – A Fun and Practical Approach

Your parents gave you the best sex education for couples and taught you everything you ever needed or wanted to know about sex…..right? Probably not and so most of us are left with allot of experimenting and wondering about our sexuality, especially after we have been with the same partner for any length of time.

I remember a client who came to see me who was feeling confusion about his sexual feelings. At a young age He had been forced to do sexual acts with one of his father’s male friends. The experience left him confused by a sense of needing “affection” from men in that way, even though he was happily married with three kids.

The point is, sex education for couples is more than just about our bodies and the erotica surrounding intercourse. We are all deeply influenced by our peers, the media, and especially our early experiences. Where then do couples get the information and advice they need? Most of us would dearly love to have a wise older person to lean on and bend our ear. That is rare, but there are ancient traditions that focused on mastering sex and intimate arts.

In these teachings are practical and fun techniques that are useful to modern couples. We all want to regain the fire in our relationships and to rediscover the magic of being playmates at sex. You might also discover that adults sex education lessons also instantly improve other aspects of your relationship.

  • For men: imagine having complete control of when you want to ejaculate
  • And for Women: imagine discovering secrets to expand your sexual magic and orgasmic potential. Wouldn’t that be nice? Being able to increase your sexual desire and joy of sex while also extending your orgasmic pleasure.
  • You can both discover how to balance differences in libido.
  • Discover how to explore and expand the amount of sexual pleasure you can experience and bring to each other.
  • Learn how to maintain exciting sexual passion and keep love alive in a committed relationship while managing the stress of life, work and family.

When it comes to sex, reading about it is boring. So When singles and couples see me about sexual issues, I encourage a fun and practical approach to learning more about sex. Having knowledge and wisdom about sex is a true gift to share as a couple and as a peer to others and younger people who may not find the greatest advice elsewhere.

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Three Important Things About Online Sex Education

These days many people are turning to the internet to learn about sex. For people who are embarrassed to talk about sex, scared to ask questions or uncomfortable with the idea of asking someone in person, the internet provides the anonymity they crave. The privacy the internet affords us is one of the most beneficial aspects when it comes to getting information about sexuality and sexual health.

That is the good news. The bad news is there is no shortage of websites that contain inaccurate and sometimes even false information, especially when it comes to sex. Put the words “sex education” in a search engine and more websites that can be counted will come up. How does someone sort the good from the bad? How can someone tell if the information is accurate or not? It can certainly be confusing as someone with questions tries to navigate the waters of the internet. Getting the wrong information can be disastrous. A website that only discusses abstinence for example would not give someone looking for condoms use the information they need and that may lead to unprotected sex. Unprotected sex may lead to unplanned pregnancy or STD infection.

If you are considering looking online for answers to your questions about sexuality or sexual health you may want to keep the following in mind:

First, find out all you can about the website you are viewing. Look at the “About” section. If there is no “About” section that might be a bad sign to begin with. A reputable website will tell you why they are qualified to give information, who their experts are and their credentials.

Second, be wary of websites pushing their own agenda. Some organizations are more about pushing their own values than giving accurate information. You can tell a lot about a website or company’s perspective by checking out who funds them and their presentation. If they seem biased, they probably are. Using scare tactics, guilt and shame are not good educational tools.

Third, look for websites that back up their information with scientific research and/or experts in the field of sexuality. Many people get online and call themselves sex educators but not all of them actually studied sexuality as a discipline. Government websites like the CDC are excellent for getting statistics and information about HIV for example and they are continuously posting new research and data.

As a consumer you have the right to questions where information comes from as well as how accurate the information is. Information about sexuality and sexual health is no different and being proactive will help ensure you get the information you need.

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